TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD WEAR A CONDOM BEFORE YOU FUCK.
I’m going to be very un-PC, very brash, and slightly pottymouthed in this post. So prudes who can’t take what I’m going to say, well, its your loss, honey. Your health & longevity, not mine.
10. There are mistakes you can live with, like that fugly tramp stamp you thought looked sexy when you got it at 19 (no biggie, laser it off!), but there are mistakes that can live with you. (I assume you aren’t that stupid to get what I’m trying to say)
9. If you don’t trust someone to look after your iPad Mini when you go take a crap, or house-sit for you, or look through contents in your phone, do you expect to trust someone when he says, “I’m clean, can I please fuck u raw, I can’t get hard with condom leh”? DON’T BE A DUMBASS.
8. Because you are a gay man in Singapore, and the general public already has pretty negative views on Teh Gay with regard to HIV. Do you want to reinforce the stereotype & humiliate yourself in the process?
7. Do you want a shotgun wedding with an unplanned bastard child in your giant preggers belly? Of course not, how embarassing would it be, especially if you come from a traditional or religious family? You bling dishonour to famiree!
6. Buying condoms is embarassing? So is going to the DSC Clinic to get the Gonorrhea you caught from the random fuck at Cruise Club last Saturday treated.
5. Because you know that if your “date” truly has feelings and cares for you, he wouldn’t put you at risk just like that OR the emotional torture of not knowing your status and worrying. Time to dump him, honey.
4. Trying new condoms can be a fun activity with your partner. I like Sagami, feels like nothing at all. ;) And it also shows to your partner that you have a good head on your shoulders. Brownie points you know!
3. Condoms are expensive? Have you seen how much I have to pay for my HIV medications every damn month? LOOK HERE. $15 + $35 for a box of condoms and a bottle of good silicone lube vs. plus minus $1000 a month for HIV medications. YOUR CHOICE.
2. You might get infected with HPV. Also known as the Human Papillomavirus (for the dumber ones). Don’t know how it looks like? LOOK HERE. There is no cure for HPV, and let’s say, you have a cheebye as horrible looking as the picture in the link, the only treatment available in Singapore is Liquid Nitrogen cryotherapy, where the nurse will have to freeze burn off each and every wart. And trust me, it FUCKING HURTS.
1. Gone are the days where all of us are going to save our virginity for the wedding night. Get real, everyone’s a whore, one way or another. Why should you wear condoms? Because it gives you the freedom to fuck around until you find the perfect cock to call your happily ever after (MY ONE! DON’T TOUCH!). Having HIV is a very lonely experience, most of us who have unfortunately caught this disease are rejected by other people and potential Mr. Rights. Do you know that feels on our self esteem? We live a lifetime of regret & what-ifs.
You have a bright future ahead of you, and Mr. Right is just around the corner. Preserve yourself & your self worth. Before its much too late. I have neither a bright future nor Mr. Right anymore. Because I didn’t listen. Don’t end up like me.